I guess the title of my post could be “A tribute to single parents” as well. But since I am living on a military base, surrounded by hundreds of women (and men) whose spouses are deployed or gone on a very long TDY (I still don’t know what it stands for—it’s like a military business trip:)) I feel like I can relate more to this particular group of people.
So my question is HOW DO YOU DO IT? How do you survive 7-15 months separations from your husband/wife? How do you not go insane if day after day you have to be the one taking care of not only the house and everyday errands but also be raising children (I will not list all the things that go into that concept)? How do you not resent your husband or his job when you have especially hard days?
In the past two years, several of my friends have survived long deployments of their husbands to Iraq, Afghanistan and South Korea. They have all done it with dignity. They amazed me every day with their strength, with their patience and ability to look at the positive side of things. Yes, they had horrible days sometimes, they had very scary days sometimes (remember that Great Tohoku Earthquake and imagine going through it all alone with three kids) but they always seemed to be able to carry themselves with such greatness that the rest of us only could admire them.
To you, my friends, who have done it or who are going though it right now, I bow my head. You are all amazing. You are all courageous women in my eyes. I wish I would have done more for you when your husbands were gone. Frankly speaking, sometimes it’s not easy to see your needs and frustrations from this cushiony place of mine on the days when my husband is home by 5 pm, helps put kids to bed and disciplines them if I have had enough. I will try to do better.
What brought up these thoughts? Oh..something not really significant:) Robert was gone for only two weeks to TX for an implant training while I was home with all kids out of school, no A/C in horrible humidity and heat. I survived, but the whole time I was thinking about many others whose husbands were not coming home in ….10 days.
If you have a friend or acquaintance whose spouse is deployed, I challenge you to think of ways you could help them to make their hard days easier.
Tami, Cami, Anna, Chessa, Janeen, Shannon, Amanda, Liz, Kari, Karyl, Joycelyn—you are my heroes.
So my question is HOW DO YOU DO IT? How do you survive 7-15 months separations from your husband/wife? How do you not go insane if day after day you have to be the one taking care of not only the house and everyday errands but also be raising children (I will not list all the things that go into that concept)? How do you not resent your husband or his job when you have especially hard days?
In the past two years, several of my friends have survived long deployments of their husbands to Iraq, Afghanistan and South Korea. They have all done it with dignity. They amazed me every day with their strength, with their patience and ability to look at the positive side of things. Yes, they had horrible days sometimes, they had very scary days sometimes (remember that Great Tohoku Earthquake and imagine going through it all alone with three kids) but they always seemed to be able to carry themselves with such greatness that the rest of us only could admire them.
To you, my friends, who have done it or who are going though it right now, I bow my head. You are all amazing. You are all courageous women in my eyes. I wish I would have done more for you when your husbands were gone. Frankly speaking, sometimes it’s not easy to see your needs and frustrations from this cushiony place of mine on the days when my husband is home by 5 pm, helps put kids to bed and disciplines them if I have had enough. I will try to do better.
What brought up these thoughts? Oh..something not really significant:) Robert was gone for only two weeks to TX for an implant training while I was home with all kids out of school, no A/C in horrible humidity and heat. I survived, but the whole time I was thinking about many others whose husbands were not coming home in ….10 days.
If you have a friend or acquaintance whose spouse is deployed, I challenge you to think of ways you could help them to make their hard days easier.
Tami, Cami, Anna, Chessa, Janeen, Shannon, Amanda, Liz, Kari, Karyl, Joycelyn—you are my heroes.
What a wonderful post! My hubby's deployments have only been for 6 months at a time, but I am happy we are currently on shore duty for the next 3 years, so I can rest in knowing he will be beside me. Shore duty is my favorite time,haha.
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Great post. I have thought of those courageous women, too. Thanks for your tribute to them!
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