March is here which means yucky weather is here, with some gorgeous days in between. Early this week, I did not even need my coat going outside—it was so nice and warm and sunny. And it is snowing outside now—it’s wet snow though. The weather here is definitely BETTER than what I expected but still gloomier than what I am used to (and hoped for).
Does Britain feel like home yet? It does and it does not. Come to think of it, every time we move, I sort of forget what “home” feels like for a while. That “homy” feeling has to be acquired every time and comes in small dozes, in particularly smaller ones this time around. It does feel like home in a literal way of thinking such as we know how to get around more freely, 80% of pictures are hung up, closets are organized and we have summer plans for our back garden. But in many things, I still feel like we are in a “just passing by” mode. We know how long we’ll be here and therefore, I have composed “the big plan of things to do while we are here”…and that doesn’t feel very “homy” to me.
One thing we have had to adjust to is how the way of our life changed in terms of how children spend their free time. After I pick them up from school at 3:30, normally, I would have them get a snack, do homework, practice the piano and tell them to go outside and play (if the weather is particularly nice, they would go outside first, actually, since it’s sort of like a special occasion). The problem is that there is no one in our neighborhood that is my big kids’ age. We have a busy road separating us from the other side of the village where a few more kids from school live. That has been a challenge. Although we have had kids over to play (without parents) for a couple of hours and my kids have gone over to other people’s homes to play, things are not the same as they used to be. Friendships have been much harder to form for the kids. In fact, Katya, in particular, has been having a really difficult time to find a close friend that she would get along with. The friend she went to the disco is great, but, she says, she cannot bond with anyone like she did with her friends in Japan. To her, those girls are her “best friends forever” still.
So the kids end up spending a lot of time inside, reading, playing (not always nicely by any means though), begging me to watch a movie, get on pottermore.com, watch another “disaster documentary”, or playing board games. I do love when they all go outside to jump on our weird trampoline or climb trees or look for golf balls (Robert decided our back yard is a dangerous place to be since it seems that golf balls can attack you from any direction, apparently).
As to our grown-up relationships, things have been developing really slowly. We find ourselves gravitating towards American friends for some reason, although we are not giving up at all at making friends with the British. Everyone is very kind and very helpful, I just need to be more proactive, I guess, at making myself noticeable as “in need of friends . I can say I have made one great British friend so far. I can tell the difference between a natural and a forced friendship—I have experienced both in many years of us moving around and meeting new people. With this friend, despite cultural differences, I feel very much myself and relaxed, never looking for a subject discuss. And that is what I need. Going for days without actually talking to any grown up besides Robert (sending messages on facebook doesn’t count) is depressing to me. Talking is good.
Anyone who knows me, remembers that I love to go places during the day—in Misawa very rarely did I stay home when the big kids were in school. But here I have a very different feeling, a bit of lack of motivation to go anywhere while Mark is in preschool from 9:15 till12:00. In fact, I have not been shopping for anything other than groceries for at least four months now! A 20-40 minute drive to Peterborough or Cambridge seems like such a big ordeal. Life in Misawa was simple—you go to the commissary, BX and Shimoda Mall, that’s all. I need to work on that.
I have great hopes that this slow beginning in getting settled will not make our whole three years “gloomy”. I also hope that I don’t just live in England spending my days looking forward to my next trip to some place outside of my village (I say this a lot). And I hope every day that all Katya, Alex, and Mark will find great friends to help them cope with missing Japan.
No more complaining…
Wishing you a very sunny week!
Lyana (obviously. Robert doesn’t write such emotionally charged posts
).
Does Britain feel like home yet? It does and it does not. Come to think of it, every time we move, I sort of forget what “home” feels like for a while. That “homy” feeling has to be acquired every time and comes in small dozes, in particularly smaller ones this time around. It does feel like home in a literal way of thinking such as we know how to get around more freely, 80% of pictures are hung up, closets are organized and we have summer plans for our back garden. But in many things, I still feel like we are in a “just passing by” mode. We know how long we’ll be here and therefore, I have composed “the big plan of things to do while we are here”…and that doesn’t feel very “homy” to me.
One thing we have had to adjust to is how the way of our life changed in terms of how children spend their free time. After I pick them up from school at 3:30, normally, I would have them get a snack, do homework, practice the piano and tell them to go outside and play (if the weather is particularly nice, they would go outside first, actually, since it’s sort of like a special occasion). The problem is that there is no one in our neighborhood that is my big kids’ age. We have a busy road separating us from the other side of the village where a few more kids from school live. That has been a challenge. Although we have had kids over to play (without parents) for a couple of hours and my kids have gone over to other people’s homes to play, things are not the same as they used to be. Friendships have been much harder to form for the kids. In fact, Katya, in particular, has been having a really difficult time to find a close friend that she would get along with. The friend she went to the disco is great, but, she says, she cannot bond with anyone like she did with her friends in Japan. To her, those girls are her “best friends forever” still.
So the kids end up spending a lot of time inside, reading, playing (not always nicely by any means though), begging me to watch a movie, get on pottermore.com, watch another “disaster documentary”, or playing board games. I do love when they all go outside to jump on our weird trampoline or climb trees or look for golf balls (Robert decided our back yard is a dangerous place to be since it seems that golf balls can attack you from any direction, apparently).
As to our grown-up relationships, things have been developing really slowly. We find ourselves gravitating towards American friends for some reason, although we are not giving up at all at making friends with the British. Everyone is very kind and very helpful, I just need to be more proactive, I guess, at making myself noticeable as “in need of friends . I can say I have made one great British friend so far. I can tell the difference between a natural and a forced friendship—I have experienced both in many years of us moving around and meeting new people. With this friend, despite cultural differences, I feel very much myself and relaxed, never looking for a subject discuss. And that is what I need. Going for days without actually talking to any grown up besides Robert (sending messages on facebook doesn’t count) is depressing to me. Talking is good.
Anyone who knows me, remembers that I love to go places during the day—in Misawa very rarely did I stay home when the big kids were in school. But here I have a very different feeling, a bit of lack of motivation to go anywhere while Mark is in preschool from 9:15 till12:00. In fact, I have not been shopping for anything other than groceries for at least four months now! A 20-40 minute drive to Peterborough or Cambridge seems like such a big ordeal. Life in Misawa was simple—you go to the commissary, BX and Shimoda Mall, that’s all. I need to work on that.
I have great hopes that this slow beginning in getting settled will not make our whole three years “gloomy”. I also hope that I don’t just live in England spending my days looking forward to my next trip to some place outside of my village (I say this a lot). And I hope every day that all Katya, Alex, and Mark will find great friends to help them cope with missing Japan.
No more complaining…
Wishing you a very sunny week!
Lyana (obviously. Robert doesn’t write such emotionally charged posts
).
I can totally relate to your feelings you shared in "6 Months". We have struggled with the same issue of the kids not having anyone near by to play with for 2 years! My only consolation is now my kids are dear friends and I will forever cherish this time we often felt like we were caged in with bars on all windows and doors for our own protection. I know when we return to the US things will slip back into normal. At least that's what we are all counting on! LOL
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