Barefooting in Australia

If you read one blog post by the Watsons about Australia, this has to be the one. But considering the fact that you have already read several posts before today (I wouldn’t blame you if you just skimmed them, they’ve all been fairly long), you’re gonna just have to trust me and know that this one is worth reading . . . or at least enjoy the pictures.

When Lyana told me she signed up for “Barefoot tours”, I imagined shedding my footwear and trudging through the rainforest.  She assured me that we could wear shoes, I was still skeptical, even up to the point when the guide drove up in his bus, and sure enough, he was barefoot.  The first thing he did?  He gave me a bear hug.  Then he politely asked me, “Can I hug the Missus?”  “Sure, I guess.” And that was that. 

We were the first ones he picked up that morning.  We headed into Cairns where he picked up the rest of the group one, two and three at a time, and he hugged every single one of them (except the two Brits, for some reason).  Twenty-one travelers in all, and we were soon on our way.  First stop:  the rubbish dump.  No joke.  I guess it was a bonus stop, as it wasn’t on the brochure.  He really just drove through, then we back on the road to our real first stop, Cathedral Fig Tree, about a 40 minute drive.  Captain Matty, as he’s called, didn’t just drive us there.  He kept us entertained.  For example, as he drove, he asked each of us 5 questions: name? where from? marital status? when leaving? and do you fold, scrunch or wrap your toilet paper?  It took half an hour to get through the whole bus because as we would answer these questions he would actually hold a conversation with each person, making us feel like he really did want to get to know us, and at the same time removing the stranger syndrome from everyone, so that during the tour, I felt that everyone was comfortable with one another and looking out for each other.   The composition of the group was about half young single backpackers (from Europe), a few young couples (newlyweds, 2 1/2 years and us, the ten-years) and then two septuagenarian ladies with fire in their steps.  Those old ladies really brought some flavor to the tour—unforgettable they were (Paulette and Terri), with stories to tell, for sure (but that’s for another time).  No kids.  Older one would have done fine, but a whole day with little ones would have been exhausting and taxing for everyone on the bus.  So I say, don’t bring the kiddoes if you want to enjoy this tour to its fullest. 

All right, let’s get on with it then.  I’ll keep it simple and basically just stick to the brochure, which the tour did, but with a few spontaneous additions (one of which I’ve already mentioned).

Brochure: “CATHEDRAL FIG TREE:  Majestic 500 year old strangler fig tree.”

Me: “That’s a HUGE tree!!  I’ve never seen anything like it!”

Look, two Americans fit inside of it.

And if you want to know more, read this.  It’s a lot easier than me telling you about it.

Next stop: 

Brochure: “LAKE EACHAM:  Swim while Captain Matty prepares you a tropical morning tea.”

Me (and all the other guys swimming): “Captain Matty told us not to worry about saltwater crocs, but he didn’t expound on the freshwater ones.  Should we be worried right now?”

We asked him afterward and Captain Matty told us not to worry because they don’t usually attack people anyway.  I found that only slightly comforting.

Swimming in this freshwater “mountain” lake was, to say the least, refreshing (read frigid, chilly, practically glacial runoff).

But I soon found someone to warm me up.

Oh, I should mention the morning “tea”.  There was tea, coffee, hot chocolate, papayas (also known as ‘paw paws’ I found out—my whole life and I never knew Baloo was singing about papayas), passion fruit, watermelon, cantaloupe, kiwifruit, chocolate something-rathers, jelly roll cake and a bit of fruit juice.  Now that’s what I call “tea’”.

So back in the bus, and off to the next stop.  The tablelands (as they’re called at the top of the mountain range), except for having a rainforest, reminded me strangely of my home in Montana—no people, rolling hills, and lots of dangerous cows (who Captain Matty firmly believes are undercover Al Qaeda operatives).

Brochure: “DINNER FALLS + THE CRATER: Cascading waterfalls and a really big hole!”

Me: “Wow!!  That really is a big hole!”

On the way to the crater, Captain Matty pulled off on another of his “unadvertised” stops—the rock pile.  As he explained it, the crater’s so big you’ve just got to throw something in it.  So everyone hopped off the bus while he “checked the tires", picked up some rocks, then we were back on our way within 60 seconds (give or take). 

And after the crater, off to the waterfalls, where I plunged right in without a second thought.  (the second thought came after I landed in the water, but before my legs went numb from the cold, “I must be crazy!”

I think this picture is when I jumped in a second time.

Lyana, so brave, actually jumped in too.  When she got out all I could say was, “I told you so.”

I hope you can tell by now how much fun we were having on this trip, and we weren’t even halfway done yet.

I don’t know why “Pickles Road” is so funny; it just is.

On the way to lunch, we made yet another “unadvertised” stop at a scenic lookout.  That’s all I know about it; couldn’t find it on a map.  I’ve been to a lot of scenic lookouts in my day, and usually they end up disappointing.  To my surprise, this one delivered.  I didn’t even see it coming till we pulled up the drive.

Then to lunch.  No picture of that, but it was tasty eatin’.  Brochure: “MILLAA MILLAA PUB: Good pub grub and a coldie with Terry and some true local Aussies.”

Me:  “Yup, the grub was good.  And Terry is a true Aussie because even though I’m sure he was speaking English, I couldn’t understand more than two words he said to me.”

Captain Matty hyped up the next stop quite a bit by telling us about shampoo commercials done here and other weird things I am purposely withholding from this post.

Brochure: “MILLAA MILLAA FALLS: Possibly the most famous waterfall in Far North Queensland.”

Me:  “Absolutely beautiful, mate.”

This picture could do with some editing, but at least you get the idea that I went swimming, yet again.  And as before . . . brrrrr!  Swam out to the waterfall, under it and back again.  Most everyone else, I’m sad to say, swam to the waterfall then walked back along the shore (boooooo).

Just breathtaking, eh? 

When C. M. stopped at this spot, I thought it was random, but turns out it’s actually part of the tour (and I’m starting to think those other ones are too, just not on the brochure).  Keeping with my brochure/me monologue:

Brochure: “CRAWFORD’S LOOKOUT: Top notch photo opportunity.”

Me:  “Hurry, get the shot before he drives away.”

Driving by a banana plantation.  I’ve never seen one, and apparently I wasn’t alone because someone else asked Captain Matty what it was and he told us, as well as why there are bags on the bananas, why they aren’t really fruits, and why there have been recent fluctuations in banana prices.  Never expect a short answer from Captain Matty, but you can expect a thorough and VERY interesting (and often humorous) one.

Final stop on the tour (and a hint that this post is eventually going to end).

Brochure:  “JOSEPHINE FALLS:  Have fun sliding down a natural water slide!  Followed by afternoon tea.”

Me:  “Woo-hoo!”

This is just the upper part of the falls; we did not slide down this part (though it would have been fun, if not a bit bumpy).

Now, we could just post a picture of Josephine Falls and be done with it. But isn’t it so much more exciting to place ourselves in there too?  That way you know we were really there . . . and happy.

Cavemen?  No, that’s Captain Matty and me heading up to the “slide”.

Oh, how romantic.

And there’s the slide.  Stay to your right or the ride gets a bit rocky.

This is what I meant by “Woo-hoo!” (not the chocolate milk).

Look who else took the plunge.  And enjoyed it, I might add.

And then after all this, we headed back to the car park where Captain Matty fixed up some “afternoon tea”, which I was pleased to find included cookies, wafers, chips (or in proper English, “crisps”), among other various sweets. 

An hour to get back to Cairns, dropped everyone off, with hugs (and this time he didn’t leave the Brits out of it), and we were done.  About 8 or 8:30 PM by the time we were back at our hotel. 

Did we like the tour?  Would we do it again?  A resounding YES! to both questions.  I mean, what do you think?  Just look at how much fun we were having!  I guess you’ll just have to go yourselves (and Captain Matty did not put me up to this): http://www.barefoottours.com.au/.

Robert

PS:  Captain Matty, next time you go to Josephine Falls, check to see if my purple towel is there.  I forgot it when I changed into dry clothes.